Invisible shackles

Published by: Admin JoJo Matthews

The countdown is on until my daughter returns to Oregon. It makes me sad to think of the loneliness I will go through again. I pray her dad lets her come for Christmas otherwise I won’t see her until spring break which would be 6 months later.

The one thing I hate about her going to school versus homeschooling is now my time with her is based on her school vacation schedule. Her dad also wants time with her. I try to explain to him that her time off from school is the only time I get to see her. He gets her every day.

I just want my love home so he can hold me after her plane takes off and I can cry instead of being strong.

I have looked into moving to Oregon to be closer to her but they live on the coast so it’s pretty expensive. If my love were home it wouldn’t be an issue because we would be a two income family instead of me all by myself.

It is so frustrating and this is one of those times I wonder if I really can walk this journey forever. It’s days like this where I have no hope at all that laws can change, that he could have a chance to come home. I usually have a small sliver of hope that he will walk out those gates into my arms but today isn’t one of those days. Today is a reminder of how alone I am in this free world. I would rather be in that tiny cell with him than deal with this.
Today is an emotional roller coaster that I must ride alone and make it look like I’m ok when I’m a disaster on the inside.



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