Published by: Admin JoJo Matthews
Three and half years ago when I got the text message that my friend at the time had been arrested I had no clue I would be on the journey I am on now. If you asked me then how do I do it or how do I survive I would have told you I had no clue.
I felt utterly alone.
I had one friend that was sort of understanding, meaning that she understood what Joey was going through more than what I was. It was better than nothing but it was still not the same.
I was almost a year into my journey before I found our website.
I have learned a lot since the beginning and if you asked me now how do I do it or how do I survive I will tell you one thing.
The #1 tip I can give you is to take care of YOU.
Your loved one doesn’t want you to stop living life. If they are a good person they don’t want you to be sad and miserable and pining over them.
They will and should understand those feelings but want more for you. Your life will change, I won’t deny that.
However, if you don’t care for you then, you can’t care for your kids if you have them and you can’t be there for your loved one.
Without self-care, this journey will be more difficult.
Prison/jail is an unpredictable environment. You won’t always get your phone call that you may have gotten every day at the same time. That doesn’t mean something bad has happened to him. In fact, it can be something as simple as the phones are down.
Mail can take forever to get to you and vice versa. It doesn’t mean he has given up or doesn’t love you.
Lots of thoughts can whirl through our heads when things don’t go as we had hoped or planned.
Shut off the thoughts, talk yourself out of them, journal.
Find something that you love to do and do it. Go back to school, do things to make you a better person.
Volunteer, read books.
Anything is better than moping around and fretting because you haven’t talked to your loved one or you haven’t seen him. Believe me, I get it, I was that way in the beginning.
If your life is consumed by him eventually you will start to feel anger and resentment towards him because he isn’t there.
Take care of you so you have the energy and strength to be uplifting, encouraging and an inspiration to him.