Choices and False Positives

By GiGi Taylor

Since today is International Women’s Day, and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on to write, I thought I would share some thoughts on some recent eye openers that I’ve had…Admit it, you missed me 

For starters, today is about female empowerment and women being able to have choices. A dear friend of mine brought up the fact that as women, we have a choice of who we love. It just so happens I have chosen to fall in love with what the world thinks is a so-called “monster.” Can I just tell you one thing before you agree or disagree with my statement? I can tell you he’s a human, not a monster. He’s capable of showing more love from a prison cell than some of the men out here in free world. His heart and soul are not the same as they were 20 years ago. He is a mature man with one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met. I’ve traveled the world, I’ve lived in other countries, but not one person has blown me away like M has. So I choose to love him. Am I a monster too? Am I to be hated for opening my heart up to what most people seem as the impossible? Should others cast their stones of judgment on me because of who I choose to love? You already know the answer. No. Can you sit here and judge me and say that you have lived a perfect life? No. I fight the stigma on International Women’s Day and everyday after because as a woman, I shouldn’t be shamed for loving who I love.

(From the Met While Incarcerated The FilmFacebook page):

Choice. That’s what feminism means to me. Today on International Women’s Day I salute some of the women feminism has forgotten – the prison wives who’ve made a tough, provocative, and life-changing choice to support the person they love despite his worst acts. Prison wives have committed no crime, but they face stigma, derision and a kind of life behind bars for their choice. It’s not easy. Let’s think today of the women we’ve left out and how we might lighten their load by imagining they know something we don’t, when making their choices.

Secondly, I stumbled upon a video about false positivity. It was from a recent TED talk, and it’s about how we try to suppress of devalue our negative emotions. Remember that Lifer Wife Mode I was talking about? Well, now it’s time to embrace the negative emotions and move forward. The sadness, the loneliness, the impatience, the frustration, the anger that moves through my veins at times. I embrace them with a clear heart and mind because they rebuild me. They make me stronger. They make me climb the mountain that has been assigned to me. They allow me to feel and to fight with the passion I have to save M’s life everyday. So please, don’t chase that dream because it ‘seems’ impossible. Don’t give up all of your light because you feel everything is lost. Embrace the dark clouds and use them to make yourself better. Don’t fight the feelings, even the negative ones, because you never know where they can take you.

Be Blessed,



1 thought on “Choices and False Positives”

  1. I am deeply in love with an inmate that has a 20 year sentence. I have heard remarks from friends and family alike that say I should find someone else. They don’t like that he’s an inmate and don’t like that he is Muslim. I Love Him, his gentleness, his patience, his understanding, his knowledge, his truthfulness about his ugly past. I don’t want someone else, I don’t want anyone’s pitty. I would like my friends and family to be happy for me. Some of these stories express my feelings better than I do.

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